Week 6, 2021

I didnt weigh in this morning to check my week 6 losses because I know there will be none :/

Deviated on at least 3 meals last week and last night too.. Didnt eat fast food or chocolates but ate a lot of my crackers with that shrimp paste and garlic chilli oil and activia yogurt. Meal 3 of the day during those days were mostly not on the plan but were eggs or beef or both.

I guess its the TOM and i gave in to my cravings.

PS: I weighed the next day, up by 800 grams :/

The Power of "No, Thank You"

I attended an Iftar yesterday hosted by one of our corporate partners and Im proud to say that I didnt eat anything and stuck to the plan. 🙋🙋 

They kept asking me to eat but I responded "No, thank you. Im good." and drank water and a diet soda. The Iftar event was nice and I stayed until 8:30 as planned. I reached home a bit late than I wanted and ate my last meal around 9:20pm. Our neighbor also hosted a hotpot with braai session.. so I dodged a lot of bullets yesterday evening.

Small human wave to me! whooohoo! #smallwins

Anyhoo, I read in the forum that there's a Golden Week of losses after TOM. I sure do hope so!! I need it. I weighed on the 3rd of May and planning to weigh tomorrow morning. Good luck to me...

I havent deviated in terms of food but I am guilty of the following:

• eating past 9pm
• sleeping late.. like really late last friday (3am) and I will most probably do that again tomorrow

I recently purchased a fitness band and I like how it tracks my sleep. I wanted to see how much deep sleep I get in a night because thats where the HGH gets to work. So far so good. I havent really engaged in any form of exercise, but this program doesnt require it. I want to start working on my flexibility though, just do some stretching.. wake those muscles up and eventually start yoga. 

Skin and Hair Musings

Im not sure if its my imagination or if its real but I do feel that my skin (face) is smoother. It could be that Ive been layering my sunscreen on top of a very moisturizing lotion.

I also feel like my hair is softer or looks like its in a better condition.. could be of the new conditioner Im using.. plus the regularity of my cod liver oil intake..

Or both are results of the diet and cutting out all the junk?

Could be all of them! Im happy :D

Anyhoo.. been wanting to do something about my face as the quality of my skin is no longer how it used to be. Given that I am already 40 and fed myself junk and tons of sugar for the past 2 years, some wear and tear are expected. Dont get me wrong my skin even then is... ok.. a bit dull, but I wasnt breaking out or anything.

So yesterday I purchased the Hyaluid and Decalt from Slurp Laboratories. My main issues are the pores that I can see beside my nose, whiteheads and the overall skin youthfulness look. I dont have crows feet or smile lines yet, but my forehead does crinkle a bit. Lets see how Slurp products will help me.

Also, I've been looking at wig pages and wig wearers in the past months. Beka wigs.. uggghhh divine! Saistylez too. But Beka's wigs... I cant... and I also cant afford them. Even if I did save up for them, letting go of that much money for a hair piece (USD 3500 - 4000) is crazy. But their wigs are really to die for. I've been contemplating on wearing a wig soon, coz my hair is naturally thin and how nice would it be to have that kind of hair every day? Im 50 - 50 about this. I mean I have other responsibilities. I am actually afraid that as soon as I have that money, I will just go ahead and have 1 made for me... Been visualizing myself at goal weight, wearing the clothes I want and with that beautiful soft ash brown/blond, straight, skin top, lace front, medium fullness, 26 inch wig... Uffff, I want it now! 😲 How???

That's it for today (Day 17), Im going for a massage later..

86th Day: Do or Don't Do, There Is No Try.

Yes, straight from the master! When you are in this programme, try is not really an option because it is a call for self-sabotage!! 😐

See, I have tried and failed to be 100% on plan for years. Trying to beat the system, rationalizing my deviations (big or small), and false hopes of thinking that I can always rein it in. Years later, I'm still doing the same mistakes. 

Insanity right? But why do I this to myself? Lack of willpower? Procrastination? Not a fan of delayed gratification? Why? Knowing what I know and I continue to fail so many times.. The plan is not difficult, it is restrictive, but not difficult at all. The guess work is removed and all you have to do is to follow it. WHY is it so hard to stay OP? I have to dig deep :D uff..

Taking it one day at a time, I managed to end the day deviation free. Its not without difficulty though. I'm craving all sorts of things like cup noodles!! Hmmm..

Feeling really tired too. Hint of TOM showed today.. so its going to be a rough week..

Day 85: All meals taken on time, vitamins, fruits and crackers too. 1 DC. Deviation free.

Day 33-34: Weightloss: Men vs. Females :D

Im back in the game folks. I have totally cleared that deviation out of my system and all the havoc that TOM brought with it. Its quite fascinating actually, how are bodies change during our cycle.

 

I had a an argument about this with my bf. Well, he started it!!

 

He said that women always claim that guys lose weight faster than women and he argues that its not because of the gender, its because women succumb more to our cravings easier than they do. We cant also say that its because of the level of activity because there are men who are also sedentary. Its just the will of the person and that we (women), always blame it on hormones!

 

And I lost it :D jeezus. I explained to him that because there is a certain time of the month when our cravings are more/higher to the point of unreasonable. For the rest of the months we are good, we can beat the cravings, but there is that 1 week wherein it is much more tougher for us to resist our cravings. Its like our body needs it, right?

 

I cant explain to him that our bodies undergo stress during that PMS period or TOM, Im not a doctor, but I think our strong cravings or hunger then is a result of this stress. The body wants comfort through food. Still he kept on arguing and then I said:

 

"NO PERIOD. NO OPINION. SO YOU SHUSH!" "You cannot understand because you don't have to endure that every single month!"

 

Then he shut up. hahaha.. Its like being kicked in the nuts, we don't know how painful it is because we don't have them.. same as giving birth, they don't know, and they never will.

 

In other news, I recorded my weight loss on my online CD account and Im going to do my blood test tomorrow. Yikes.. lets see what they will say about that.

 

Day 33-34: deviation free.

Mood = tired and sleepy, but Im ok

Hunger = only when I watch Chopped! :D

Day 27: This is getting ridiculous!

Hold on, this is really getting into my nerves. I woke up today and boom up 600gms?!??! what the fuck?! If its my freaking period, holy mother of whatnot why this torture>!>!!?!?!??!?!?!?

 

I woke up with the resolve that Im going to get to the bottom of this today. What the hell am I doing wrong!?!? Im just not breaking past 73kgs and its almost 2 weeks since my cheat day! 

Been going over it and maybe these are the reasons (?) aside from the cheat day on day 15:

 

1. Meal timings: 5 hour gaps kept but eating late (past 9)

 

2. Food scale: could it be? Seems like its working fine to me. How can I check it?

 

3. Weighing scale: I thought something was wrong with my scale, but I've proven that it is perfectly working (discussed below - taking proper measurements)

 

4. Coffee grounds: I got mine from Spain in May from a coffee shop (per the gram) in Las Rambla. could it?

 

5. Fruits: I'm eating one fruit under allowance, could it be? but fruits are optional right?

 

6. Water: am I drinking enough water? I don't really notice anymore

 

7. TOM: or my period is just putting everything out of whack?!?!?

 

7. Stress: at work, really? I have been under worse stress before. Maybe my body is undergoing stress during the PMS and TOM plus changes at work. I haven't been sleeping well the past few days.

 

So now.. RINSE and REPEAT!

 

1. Pre-cook a few day's meals - this time around, I cook my meals per day in the morning. Maybe the rush cooking stresses me out? Or makes me overlook some things in food measurements?

 

2. Having my crackers one at a time - maximum allowed at one go is 2 crackers which I do now per meal. It satisfies me, but maybe it doesn't work?

 

3. Eat all my allowances - hmmmm...

 

4. Eat my dinner at 9pm max - which means I have to eat my lunch and breakfast on time as well to keep the 5hour gap

 

5. Reduce stress, improve sleep - make time for YOGA (again). 

 

6. Take proper measurements - since I was doubtful of my weighing scale this morning, I decided to go for a Body Composition Analysis test this morning. So I woke up, didn't take any water or any food so I can do this right. I went there at 9am and I got my results.. WAAAAAHHHHH! My scale is right, I was hoping that it was giving me a wrong figure hahahaha..

 

7. Coffee - stick with the brand I know

 

8. Mix up portions - I just stick to the same servings and same proteins and carbs.. Maybe my body needs a change

 

So now that I have that report, I know where I stand now. I've really let my fitness go. How do I know that based on a piece of paper? I will discuss in a separate post, I'm going to take my body measurements again tomorrow (as detailed as I have been, if you want to have an idea, check my post here). This is still not as detailed as I have it, will do it on my next post.

 

Whew, so there, I've let my obsessive whatever run through.

 

Today was just ok, I am on time and on plan. A bit rushing through the day, but I'm good.

 

Maybe I should stop stressing about this.. :D

 

Day 27: deviation free, all allowances taken, vitamins too, more water today

Mood = ok. a bit stressed out with this scale thing

Hunger = none

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 26: The Role of Food in Our Lives: Catch 22

So here's the thing, I've been racking my brains on what to do on a scorching weekend in this country and it is so difficult to find anything that does not involve food!

a) Activities (outdoor) - forget about it! not in this weather

b) Staycations - yes, there are a lot of summer offers and yet you still have to eat or you would want to eat. Somehow it just doesn't feel right if you don't enjoy the buffet breakfast. Mind you, the hotels in this country are far more superior in service, food offering and rooms than in Europe as per my experience. We are just spoiled here.

c) Staying at home - and doing what?? We cant even have like a special dish for the day that we both can share. I will have my CD food and he will have his Banting food.

Food is and has not been for nourishment only. It is also a social thing. It brings people together, creates experiences that eventually create memories. It is a good thing (most of the time). You want to try a new cuisine, its so easy, just go there - sit - order - eat - have nice conversations - pay and go! You have spent your time with the people you want to spend it with and enjoyed. You go to a friend's house to hang-out, you eat, chat and be merry. You go for a movie - popcorn and nachos.

We have a lot of options here, Dubai is mix of nationalities and authentic cultures that trickles down to food. You want Indian food (from Kerala, Goa, Mumbai etc)? You got it cooked fresh for you. Arabic food? No problem -, Lebanese, Egyptian, local food right along Sheikh Zayed. Japanese food? yes and can get it delivered too. Persian? Afghani? Thai? Russian? Tunisian (oh my brik.. I love brik!)? Sri Lankan? Mexican? Catalan???

So many food options!!

Im seriously boggled about this and somehow I feel deprived. BUT I also feel like really? There's nothing else that can occupy my time aside from eating?! Sad reality eh?

If you are on this course of eating healthy, you have to be extremely cautious, aware and resilient. It is a task being healthy!

However, when I see old people back at home, those who really didn't care much for the food that they ate nor have they been conscious about their fitness, well, they are experiencing aches and pains that could have only been because of old age, which could have been prevented or lessened if they have done the investment at an early stage.

When I used to workout a lot, I was thinking of how my muscles (maintaining them) will not only help me now but also as I age. I will not look as physically fit then but I'm sure I will feel the benefits of the muscle support to my bones, my posture, as long as I don't overdo it.

Same thing with food. I've heard/read that the cancers that we have are partly caused by our diet. We don't really anything natural anymore. The speed that our lives are going made us susceptible to convenient(fast) eating, and the healthy stuff, well they cost more!! Poverty alleviation is an ongoing cause which I don't see any end to.

In other news, feeling so bloated today. Phew! Felt so bored too even though I've got work. I just want the weekend to come!

I don't really feel anything odd nor significant to say about the diet at the moment. Its still the same old thing, the scale is not being cooperative. Its so easy to give up like 'chuck it! Im gonna eat whatnot!' But Im just holding on. Im looking forward to the end result that I desire. Talk about relentless.

Day 26: deviation free. All meals taken on time, all allowances consumed. Vits too.
Mood = heavy. Discouraged.
Hunger = none. craving still.

Day 1: Not ideal

My first day didnt start the way I planned it. I wanted to wake up early at 5:30 and take a packed breakfast so I can join my bf for a walk (whie he works) at 6:15.

Routine will have it, I got up at 6 and rushed to get dressed into my joggers and sneaks, didnt weigh (!), didnt measure and didnt make breakfast!

Reached there and walked for about an hour and started my day with coffee. We had to pass by the grocery to get some supplies and reached home at 10. Had my breakfast at 10:30.. late!

Napped in the afternoon and woke up at 4:30 (!!) and had a late lunch. Which means I had dinner at 10 just to keep the 5hour window. So theres my deviation. :'( Food wise Im on track and ate less than my fruit allowance.

I sent a message to my consultant about this. Which is more important, maintaining the 5 hour gap between meals or having your last meal at 9pm. Lets see what she says. (Update 31Jul: the 5hr gap rules. Just dont sleep right away. At least after 2 hours)

Weighing in and measuring tomorrow and will have breakfast at 8! Thats the plan!!

Day 1: not DF

Day 0: Scared Shit

Same as my entry in June, Im scared asf to fail for the 100th time! During my previous [failed] attempts, I tried my best to plan on how to avoid deviations and eventually spiraling out of control. Whats so different now?

My confidence and determination are shaken but my persistency is still there....

I started working in a new organization 2 weeks ago and today is a full day induction for new joiners. I wanted to start the plan today but as part of the induction, lunch at the cultural center was included. I didn't want to deal with the questions of not eating, so decided ahead that I will just let it be. I had a CD  breakfast and dinner today though (based on old plan).

I was invited for ladies night with old colleagues, its actually a full night of bar hopping. I didn't go, had to drop a friend to the airport.

Oh, and again I start my journey with my TOM! phew..

Tomorrow is the start of the weekend for me, and I've come up with stuff to keep me busy. Lets see if these will help:

- start sanding those old kitchen chairs I want to recycle
- take my cat to the vet
- look for materials for the re-upholstery of the kitchen chairs
- pay bills and get groceries
- clean house

Here we go...

BDay 2: Ramblings of a Hungry Tummy

Root canal process started today.. :/

Oh and I got my period today! Well, some spotting.. My period stopped after the 1st month I was on plan..So maybe that explains the extreme choco cravings?? yikes.. and Im still craving btw, could be a part of detox but I so want a bag of Cheetos Cheese right now!!

Knowing that its just day 2, makes it easier for me to reason with myself to deviate.. That Im just undoing 1 day of hard work, I would feel less guilty, than give in 3 days later..

Jeez!

my other 2 friends back home also started deviating after 2 months.. this is really not easy..

cant stop thinking about those damn Cheetos!!! should I just opt for the lesser evil and buy me some Provita's to binge on?? oh the things that are going on inside my head!!!

I dont know how much more I can reason with my cravings..  and this is me with a slightly hurting tooth and a mild headache..

Its 2PM, and IM HUNGRRRRYYYY!!! WHY AM I SO HUNGRY?! (and so whiny? :D)

Ok come to think of it, everytime Im craving anything, it makes it all alright once I have the food.. the craving is satisfied, thus I feel better for it..

by 3:30.. I gave in to the cravings until evening.. :'(

dissapointed, but will not slink away.. I will admit to every single deviation until I whip myself back into shape.

Day 2, not DV free.

Day 49 & 50: Sun baking

Day 49

I love pre-summers!!! Just went loca and went to the beach with friends at 7am armed with a tanning oil (hello ms. hawaiian tropic :D) and left around 10:30. The water was sooooo nice, and the beach was not packed yet. I am now slowly transitioning from pale to bronze.. i love it!!

After the beach, we went for some mani-pedi. It was a total girly day. After the salon, went to shop for food, and at 5pm, I slept and slept and slept.. hehehe I thought I was at least going to measure my proteins but I could not bring myself out of the couch. Considered not having dinner but  decided against it..

All meals taken on time, 2 DCs today, no multivitamins though (i forgot!), and had 1 huge mango. I was just so craving for it. :/

Day 50

I wanted to go to the beach but my house needs some cleaning! I felt too tired to clean. Found every excuse not to. Throughout the day I managed to do my whole laundry needs, fold the heap of clean clothes that had fallen on the floor (the mountain of clothes on the chair had collapsed with the height :D ) change my sheets, put up curtains, cook 3 days worth of meals, sanitize and clean the kitchen, changed my cat's litter for the week, mop the living room and sweep the whole house. This is superficial cleaning, as I havent dusted the living room and cleaned the bathroom.

Burlesque was showing on cable and watched it til end, so I ended up sleeping at 12:30mn. :/ Cant say the movie was worth it.

TOM hasnt arrived yet, but I am feeling the cramps.. what's going on?

All meals and vitamins taken on time, 2 DCs today.

Day 49 & 50, DV free.

Day 46,47, 48: Cruising Along

These 3 days have been normal. Im feeling period pain/cramps but period hasnt come yet. :/ Was expecting it 2 days ago... hmmmm

I am craving big time! I so want to devour all the chocolates in my drawer! So cruising along, but not without difficulty!

Went for karting with colleagues on Day 46.. I was pretty good. Im just next in rank to the people who are experienced karters (top 6) Im on 7th and we are 17 people! :)

All meals intact, ate dinner at almost 11pm! :( Had a nectarine with it.

Day 47 is another normal day. Didnt do much work, well pretending to work was tough enough. I just wasnt in the mood. I guess its a formed habit of cramming?! Thats why I keep things for the last minute.

I am reading up on the Zone materials I have downloaded.

Didnt do yoga today, went to shop instead. I just wanted beige office shoes as mine were about to breakdown, and I ended up with two short-shorts (just for 10 AED! wawawaw!) for the summer & 1 denim jumpsuit (all a size smaller), beige office shoes, 1 pair of black loafers, and 1 green bikini.. oh yes, I can wear a bikini now :D ... Im not as firm or tight/cut as I want myself to be but yah, Im ok. Planning to hit the beach on Friday at 7-10am with work colleagues, with a mission to tan, so i need a 2pc suit. 

I spend so much these days.. I should stop :(

Was feeling too tired today, after my dinner, I dozed off in front of the tv and woke up at 4am!

Meals, vitamins, crackers, fruits taken on time. I did eat a big whole mango. I was planning to eat just a cheek but I couldnt stop myself. I felt so hungry.. I had 2 DCs today.

Day 48 ohh.. counted the hours til the weekend. Kept shifting between reading "Mastering the Zone" and working, whilst syncing my tablet.

A friend of mine saw my pics yesterday and she just signed up for the program :D I hope she gets accepted.

I had a cheesy breakfast today: shredded veggies (cabbage, mushrooms, onion, capsicum) stir fried with a dollop of Philadelphia fat free cheese... served with the remaining cheese allowance and cubed green apple on the side.. yummy..

Ate my crackers in between til lunch. I had my egg omelette with 2 crackers for lunch, chugged DC throughout the afternoon. Had dinner around 8pm with crackers and had 1 fruit around 10.

Went for power yoga after work. Almost ditched it coz I was feeling lazy. Im glad I didnt, it felt good to sweat! Later in the evening, I went for a movie with a fried and we ran late. So i went ahead to buy tickets and popcorn! My gawd! The smell of popcorn just within reach.. :/

Its just another day.

Day 46, 47, 48 - DV free!

Day 44 & 45: One of Them Days

"..that a girl goes through... dont take it personal.." :D

PMS surely kicking in.. Day 44 was ok, nothing much to report. I did hatha yoga with a colleague in the evening then went to watch an movie outdoors.. all meals taken on time.

Day 45 is totally different story.

I was feeling quite sluggish today. The usual slump when Im close to my periods, I am feeling tired as if I have been moving around and its just 10am! I am craving too, despite the morning multi-vitamin. I feel hungry right after the meal + cracker.

I had to let my foster cat go today. I love him to bits, but he doesnt let me sleep! I have isolated him in the kitchen as he had just recovered from the flu plus my cat doesnt get along with him yet.. When I am in the kitchen with him, he is so sweet, loving and purring non-stop. But as soon as I step out, its a crying madness!! for hours! And its been 3 wks like this, so I told the lady who rescued him of my situation and she offered to board him.. I feel so bad.. coz a) the lady will have to spend for boarding and 2) I will miss that naughty little bugger.. BUT I do need proper sleep too.. :'(



one of them coffee person..

Black coffee is my saviour. I normally take my coffee black anyway even before pre-cohen, with an occassional dash of milk and sugar when I feel like it.  Black coffee gives me the energy boost that I need, everytime. Its my version of Redbull..

So I sipped my coffee, silently, waiting for the energy rush to come.. Otherwise I just wanted to go home and rest or do nothing. The coffee did its job :) and everything seems bright and shiny after that :D

I had expressed my interest to be considered for a position that will open in one of the departments from our group of companies..  feedback was positive.. need to get cracking on adjusting my CV.

By noon I received feedback from the clinic about my 2nd blood test results. Feedback was good: 

Please be advised that Dr. Cohen was satisfied with your blood test results and instructed that you continue with your program.

Kindly let us know if you have any questions. 

Regards,

The Consultants Team

 Please note: No additional blood test is required, unless we specifically request it.

Im happy! ^_^

Picked up a friend from the airport. Im glad to have him back in the country with a new job!

Went home early and cooked my 4days meals.

Day 44 & 45, DV free..

Day 13: :D

wooo hooo hooo!

I dont know what to call my Day today but I do know I want to post another of Chandler's dance moves.. :D Im a huge fan of Friends and I still am.

This morning before going to work I was figuring out what to wear. Since I lost my initial 25kgs became a size 12, I took out my old skinny jeans (the skinniest Ive been) from storage back in the closet in the hopes of fitting into them soon. I remember I bought them when I was a size 8. And it has been sitting in my closet for more than 4mos now.. :/ It can fit but each leg will have to be forced in the thighs area.. and of course, no chance of even making the 2 ends meet to button up

So this morning, I  thought, what the hell, lets see.. And to my amazement, it fit with the button closed and zipped up. It was still tight esp in the waist area as I had a fat overlap there when squeezed by the belt line. But the fact of the matter is it closed!! I could have actually worn it today if I had worn a loose blouse, but decided not to, I will wait for next week!!

So far so good. Still DV free.. I had

BF: eggs +onion+cabbage +coriander +1 cracker
snack: apple & coffee
Lunch: beef stir fry + cabbage +cucumber+2 crackers
snack: tea
Dinner: a portion of tilapia and a portion of tuna in brine + veggies+ 2 crackers
evening snack: green apple

I have a hectic weekend and I need to shop for food supplies tomorrow.. Saturday is an all out day.. *fingers crossed*

I have to admit though, Im craving for sweets..cookies, chocos, ice cream.. But I can control it and hopefully all throughout. I have a deadline and I cant miss it..

TOM has made its appearance :S