Sunday, January 20, 2019
Friday, January 18, 2019
Thursday, January 17, 2019
Wednesday, January 16, 2019
Tuesday, January 15, 2019
1st Day: Some Indian sweets being passed around
2nd Day: NONE
3rd Day: The smell of bread at the hotel and my BF asking me if I wanted McDonalds for dinner (as he was about to get for himself on his way from work!!)
4th Day: None
SN: Noon: 1 peach | afternoon: 1 coke light | night: 1 peach
Monday, January 14, 2019
Its the end of day 2 and i think im doing alright. Ate all my meals and on time. Had the time to shop for food even if I left the office late. As soon as I stepped inside the grocery, the smell of peaches was overwhlemingly nice, I had to buy some :D
I reached home and I didnt even take the time to sit down and went straight to measuring my veggies for next few days. Coz if my ass touches the couch, i think it will be stuck there :P
I know its too soon to tell, but it does feel good to eat better. Feels... light. Im worried about the detox though thats about to come. I've been off the wagon for years that I'm sure I'm going to pay for it 🙈 (headaches.. sore throat.. and i dont know what else... 😟)
Im going to be really busy for the next 3 months starting next week. I hope I can pull this off.
BF: 1 egg, veggies, 1 cracker, 1 Centrum
LU: beef, veggies, 1 cracker
SN: Evening: 1 peach
DI: chicken, veggies, 1 cracker, 1 coke light
CAF: 1 cup, black
VIT: AM - Collagen 1, 3 +C, Hyaluronic, NN - Collagen 2
Sunday, January 13, 2019
I typed slowly as the words below poured out below. I'm filled with hesitation and fear of failing over and over again...
Oh well. Another year had closed, and another one begins. 2018 was not my year and I can see that I will suffer the effects of 2018 until 2020 if I continue on my current path now.
Good news is, I have got a job and been in it for about 4 months now. Its marketing related, its about Polo and I have learned a lot over the past 4 months. But I miss my airline job, the travelling, the structure and the people I meet and I honestly want to go back, I dont know how though. I dont think a company will re-hire someone who left the job voluntarily for another job.
I have to come to terms (fully) that no one could have predicted what happened to me after I left the airlines. I left with good intentions of doing better and becoming better, which I failed miserably.. as per their standards. Here I am trying to pick up the pieces and basically living to pay off all my debts.
I think I am in a depressed state. I get short bouts of gusto for what's going on in my life, but I'm mostly indifferent. I'm trying to get by and not splendidly.
What I wrote about having my ducks in a row in September, seems so difficult esp. when funds are very limited. I am thankful for my job esp. since Dubai is in such a slump that people are losing their jobs and offers are as low as ever. It's just that I keep wondering when will my life take off again?
I came here to write that I have decided that today, I will eat healthy - Cohen style. I am scared that I will fail in something i can control.
BF - 1 egg, veggies (cabbage, kale, spinach, mushroom), 1 cracker, 1 Centrum
LU - beef, veggies (cabbage, kale, spinach, mushroom)
SN - Afternoon: 1 coke light | Evening: 1 apple
DI - chicken breast, veggies (cabbage, kale, spinach, mushroom), 1 cracker
Coffee: 2 cups black
Deviation: ate 115g veggies for LU, should have been 110 :/
Vitamins: 6 tabs Collagen 1&3 +C, 2 caps Hyaluronic, 4 caps Collage 2 --> Im not sure if this is allowed in the diet, but Im taking this to support my skin as I lose the weight.. Its Non-GMO + Gluten Free. Does not contain gluten, soy, lactose, starch, yeast or artificial flavors
1st Day - done.
Sunday, September 9, 2018
I look at myself in the mirror and I don't like what I see. I am so out of control with every aspect of my life. Some people will think I'm exaggerating because I have been making efforts to cope, just the bare minimum to get me by. But its a struggle to get my shit together, I feel like a fraud, I'm no good but I'm trying my best to disprove myself. I'm not sure if it had anything to do with keeping up with appearances. If it is, then I'm doing a terrible job.
I've been asking myself for the past 8 months "how do I turn this around?". I know the answers to this question and I know its not a question of how, its a question of when.
Yesterday 08/09/18 - I have decided I've had enough. Enough of this. Enough of being a self made loser. I'm a brave person. I'm a smart woman and I am beautiful. Why am I wasting my time not being all of that?
I need to get my ducks in a row... no, I want to get my ducks in a row and do myself a favor. Even if it means starting all over again at 37 without a clean slate, so be it. I just have to buck up.
I am not out yet! - Although as I type that, a cloud of fear and self doubt just came over me.
Let's do this!