ADay 5-8: Struggling

OMG.. Im struggling really hard with the detox.. the chocolate detox.. :(

Im stuck around 67-68kgs

on ADay5-7, I am good during the day and terrible in the evening. I usually end up eating chocolates alone! Well, I had Sumo delivered again on ADay5, and KFC on ADay6 and ADay 7, I had eaten a pumpkin risotto which was yum, and had a Chi-Chi drink which was wow and whew! :D

What I realized about this struggle is that it was caused by the feeling of deprivation. Its not a mind blowing discovery but more of a realistic one. "Oh.. I have to eat this <enter junk name> as much as I want now because tomorrow I will start the strict regime again", which in turn builds on the addiction and therefore making the detox process tougher. AND I can eat A LOT of chocolates until I feel sick..

Despite the realization, I still am struggling with my Day1 for 2wks. There were days when I am Cohen clean, only to break down on the next day.

ADay 7 was a clean day, but the amount of control I had to exert in the evening.. OMG..I was really itching to call for chocolates.. I mean I was really really craving that I felt that I was suffering.. Talk about withdrawal symptoms.. Which carried on ADay 8.

ADay 8 was full on chocolate cravings.. You cannot imagine! and by 6pm, I gave in. Plus I didnt have dinner packed that day and forgot that it was the Germany vs Portugal match which I watched with colleagues at a pub. So I ended up eating outside, having a normal coke (no diet or zero DC available) :(

Im not giving up though.. I will still keep on trying.. I know its a mind over matter thing.. and nobody can help me do this but myself.. I just need to pull my shit together..

Busy at work as hell..

ADay 4: The Day After & My New Chucks :D

So I woke up - 67.7 kgs..

Jeez.. I need my willpower and resolve back.. like as in NOW!

I still look ok.. but my skinny jeans are now fitting me well.. it was loose on me when I was at 63kgs.

I think I just need the 1st 3 days to be clean, and after that Im good..

This is the 1st short term goal: 3 days Cohen Clean

2nd short term goal: reach 63kgs again!

Had a green apple smoothie in the morning, couldnt be bothered to cook brekkie. My meals for today were yesterday's meals which I kept in the office fridge..

There's a big brands sale near my office and I went to check it out (which I have avoided for the past few years :D) and got my first pair of Chuck Taylors!! ever! hehehe I love it.. 139 AED (USD 38) and a bronzer and lipstick (french brand, total USD 17) and that was that.. It was a sprint of  shop and Im glad that it was, otherwise I would have bought even more.. whew..

ADay4, DV Free

ADay 3: :(

After 2 days of being good.. I've fallen today.

Had my breakfast as usual

Then by noon time, the cakes came in.. Everyone is saying, "have a piece.. have a piece.." I kept saying no.. but by the time the brought in the ice cream cake.. found myself reaching for a piece and the celebrant was more than happy to give me a good slice.

:'( I am so dissapointed at myself.

And i felt the pinch in my waist straight away.. jeez..

Why is it so difficult to start again!?!??!?!!? shit!

Day of Doom.. and its just noon. Will update this post later on how my day went, I plan to eat my Cohen meals as if nothing happened..

Update: Im so pissed at myself, I didnt have lunch.. just munched on some more choccies..

And in the evening.. i ordered Katsudon from Sumo.. ate it while watching Friends..

destructive habits starting to show up....

ADay 3, Not DV free.

ADay 1 & 2: IM BACK!

and with a vengeance!

After weeks of travelling, eating, stress eating, lack of sleep, work stress, being lenient, and being lazy, Im glad to say that today is my second day back on plan and Im doing good. Man! it was difficult on my 1st day (yesterday), I had a tough detox day but I survived, and without fruit!



Milka gone in 1 week, with a
few manner wafers in between

I have succumbed to all the junk.. mainly chocolates -->I have murdered my loot bag, ate ALL the Milka chocolates I bought from Vienna in a span of 1 week (see pic).

While travelling, I ate as I felt like - when hungry and walked tons!! But still I ate chocolates and desserts like no there is no tomorrow.. Had a total of 2 glasses of wine in France (out of the 5days)

Its now (truly) proven that I can control my food: food types and portions and that I can stay away from alcohol, but chocolates... khalas.. I need to find a way to control this, because chucking it out totally is not a good way to go, I will end up bingeing which is not good for me in the long run

 I planned to be on EP since last week, but it was difficult to start once you have fallen off the bus.. VERY difficult. Been on and off the EP since 14 May-08 June.

So for those ppl who are still on the Cohen clean path, please oh please do not attempt to try to deviate, as there is a HUGE possibility that it can snowball from there.

I'm going to start a new daily temptions list, as I can see a few of them coming up. I've started my new loot bag :D

If you are wondering how did my 3wk off plan with a couple of choccie binge here and there affected me:

Clothes size: still fits me, but those that were loose are now fitting well
Weight: from 63kg to 68kg (2days ago) :-O I weighed today and I think the scale showed me 66.7kg

But Im glad Day 2 is done and conquered.

ADay 1: all meals taken on time, 1 vitamin, no DC, no fruit, and crackers. DV Free
ADay 2: all meals taken on time, 2 vitamins, 2 DCs, 1 fruit, and crackers. DV Free

*Still trying to figure out what to call this 2nd round.. so for now Im sticking to ADay # (just having the A day reminds of the movie A Team or Easy A :P )