84th Day: Well, Supposed To Be..

So I'm back and I lost 4 weeks due to an unavoidable circumstance.

I weighed yesterday, up by 4kgs. whoa.. NOT CHANGING MY TICKER!

I could have been back on plan 3 days ago but its so hard to stick to it. Just so easy to order every bad think I want on Uber Eats or Zomato..

Haven't been sleeping well too. My sleep patterns have changed, I could as well be living on the other side of the world. My nights have become my days and my days are spent sleeping. Now that I'm back at work, I am struggling!

I'm not going to reset my day count as I am extending my current plan by purchasing another 3 months of support (online clinic). Apparently I cannot get my refeed if I dont do this.

Day 84: Cranky, Craving, Sleepy with 9 days before TOM. But deviation free.

46th Day: 😑

Feel like shite today. Didnt bother to weigh myself in the morning. 

PMS symptoms on and rocking. Feeling tired, heavy and sleepy too. Hungry as well.

I also suspect that I'm not good with hummus.

It took some effort to be deviation free today, and lots of water and caffeine.

I want to sleeeeepppppzzzzzz....

Day 46: Deviation free.

45th Day: Craving & Hungry

Craving or feeling hungry quicker than the other days. Don't know why.

Last night, I had to really control myself in eating the nuts at home. I was so close to breaking but my reward showed up in the scales this morning :)

2 hours before my 2nd meal, I felt hungry. It didnt help that my colleague was having McDonald's french fries and the other one a McFlurry. Post the 2nd meal at 3:30PM, I felt the hungry strike after an hour..

What's going on? I was so tempted to give in.. There's a bunch of sweets from my colleague that's just sitting right in front of me for about 2 days now and I havent caved (yet). But I waaaannnnt!

Later in the afternoon, my friend from Netherlands messaged me that she wanted to meet up as she is flying back tomorrow morning. I havent seen the woman in 10years! But I didnt have my dinner with me. Even though I felt there is a huge possibility of me deviating, I still went to see her as i dont know when i will see her again. 

Least to say I caved and ate. Ate chicken kebab, hummus, salad, bread, and had a few teaspoons of muhalabiya. 

I was hungry and craving. I didnt know which came first but I just wanted to eat!!!!

As I was driving home, I realised why. Its probably because my TOM is just around the corner.. 7 days to be exact. I havent been sleeping well too. Thats the only reason I could think of as I was deviation free since the 40th day. :'(

Day 45: NOT Deviation free

3rd day: The Scale - A Friend or Foe??

The thing about this diet is that you have to measure every. single. thing. every. single. day. Even yourself. The center doesnt recommend weighing yourself daily, but it kinda does wonders to your persistence when you see yourself dropping off each gram daily. But when its stuck, well.. it kinda gets to you too.

I didnt weigh myself on day 1 but I do have an idea of my starting weight as I went to the clinic a few days before to get my prescription and they weighed me. I was at 89kgs! 😢 Seems like I went back to the same person I was in 2009 - really fat, in heavy debt and in a job with a take home pay similar to what I was earning in 2010. Anyway, this morning I was at 86.9 kgs. I would like to think that the 2 kgs lost in 2 days was because of being Cohen clean.

When I decided to do this 4 days ago, I dropped my food scale.. glass top shattered like candy. I tried weighing the contents of a bottle of water and coke and seems to be working alright. I think I should replace it, but dont want to spend unnecessarily. And as veteran Cohenite, we are very.. ahem.. "anal" about the food measurements. Not a single gram above or below, otherwise its a deviation! f

But honestly, what if you didnt know that the scale is off? And you are still losing weight? then does it really matter if the scale is of by 2-3 grams? I hear Cohenites in my head screaming "yes!!" 😄  I figured I will try this broken scale for about 7 days and see if my weight will drop every day like its supposed to. If not, maybe I need to buy a new one.

Anyway, I woke up a bit late but I managed to cook my breakfast and lunch. Got to eat my breakfast around 10, lunch was at 3. By 6 I was hungry! hmmm.. so here we go eh? I feel that its better that I eat breakfast at home otherwise I will be eating late like today.

The moment I felt the hunger, I thought of breaking down. I kept on thinking of how I see myself by March and how much weight I must have lost by then. Or of people in the office complimenting on my new clothes to which I will reply, "no, these are my old clothes." :D. I just kept myself daydreaming whilst I was driving home so I dont think of my hunger and it worked! I survived the hunger pang. 

Nothing really special today. I can feel the looming headache slightly.

BF: 1 egg,  veggies, 1 cracker, 1 Centrum

LU: chicken, veggies, 1 cracker, 1 Centrum

SN: Noon: 1 peach | afternoon: 1 coke light | night: 1 peach

DI: beef, veggies w balsamic, 1 cracker, 1 coke light

CAF: 1 cup, black

VIT: AM - Collagen 1, 3 +C, Hyaluronic, PM - Collagen 2

Day 17: Getting on the bus

After my senna tea yesterday evening and several trips to the bathroom this morning (I think I have no intestines left), I weighed myself and I gained 900 gms. Guess that's fine.

Im still giddy about my weekend :)

And another week continues with this woman. I find it a little bit funny and annoying at the same time on how she gets worked up on things so early in the morning. I just don't really let it get to me.

I got hungry quite easily after each meal, close to craving but I stuck to my diet. It did help that I was really busy today.

Day 17: deviation free, 1 fruit under allowance, vits taken

Mood= ok

Hunger= yes, want more food!

EDay 4: Hungry

Woke up.. glad the scale has moved down.. -400gms

I will stop updating now. I used to update every 7days, so Im going to do just that. But I guess my first week wouldnt show much.. I guess its the meds..

Today was pretty hectic.. But I felt a crash around afternoon, I felt hungry. I wanted to have those polvorons.. anything! I tried all the advices on the forum-- drink more water, have tea, get busy, more water and I did so, with a minor argument going on inside my head about deviating or not deviating

Me: 1 polvoron.. how could it hurt?
Me: Arghhh! you know you cant just have 1 polvoron!! you know it!! And then 3 days will be wasted

It went on for some time, and before I knew it, its time to leave for my last swimming class. I need to start practicing after this.

Weekend is yet to come.. lets see then.

All meals taken on time, 1 fruit, vitamins and crackers too. 1 DC

EDay 4: DV free.

DDay 5: Still Hungry

I took an off from work today. Feels good not to be working on a working day :p

Woke up early and spent 3 hours in the garden just soaking up some morning sun and light breeze..

Had my omelette breakfast but it didnt suffice. I felt hungry 1 hour later.. even with the multivitamin..

Im out of crackers..

All I can think about were McDonalds pepper chicken wings..

Went for groceries for more stuff..5 days on the plan.. couldnt break this now. I wanted to pass on the Provitas because from experience, it starts the deviation for me. As much as I wanted to avoid it, i was so hungry and was that close to deviating. I was at the supermarket for chrissakes!! Fruit allowance was over by lunch and my only salvation until i can have my dinner are those damn crackers!! Gave in to provitas.. had 2 pcs within allowance. Im glad to have the rest of my cracker allowance later on the day.

Also had a massage today.. long overdue.. then went to a friends place to finalize our trip 's itinerary.

All in all, its one of those days when you just have to move with the motions.. it could have been better..

All meals take on time, fruits and vitamins too. 2 DCs

DDay 5: DV free.

Day 59: Observations

lol :D

I've been hearing these a lot lately:


"Dont lose more, you are going to dissappear!" -- :D

"You look tired, you should eat" -- Im looking tired right? why should I eat? maybe you could say I should sleep or rest?

"The charm in your face had gone" -- more than twice! ufff!

"Dont lose so much weight, if you become super thin, its not a good look as well. Your face has become too thin.. or about to." -- I agree with this, but at the back of my mind I am not yet at goal weight..

I dont mind hearing them, its just that its difficult to explain why I am still on my diet. No one, who has not been on CD will understand the importance of reaching goal weight.

I have noticed these too:

1) I cannot walk as fast as I used to and as fast or upbeat when I used to climb the stairs. I feel like my bum is heavy and my legs wont move the way they used to as I walk up the stairs, and its just 2 flights! I can usually zoom through it. I have strong, muscled legs so I know Im good at stair climbing and speed walking (despite being overweight before)

2) feeling some lower back pain.. I thought this was due to yoga, but I havent been to yoga for a week and its still there. I went for a massage 2 days ago, hoping it will go away but its still there.. some lingering pain, not dying pain but this uncomfortable pain..

3) Sleep has become even shorter. I dont sleep early, somehow I cant manage to. But for the past 3 days, I've been waking up at between 530-630am! I dont know if its my cat, coz she meows to open the balcony door in the morning, but thats usually around 7-ish..

4) Hungrier. I mean, I get hungry quite quickly after meals. Also, in the morning, from the time I wake up and when I reach the office (before my 1st meal), I find myself saying, "I am sooo hungry" sometimes to myself, or out loud. I bought my chromium capsules to help with this.. I hope it works.. its been 3 days..

On the positive side:

1) NONE, as in NONE of my work clothes fit- trousers, dresses, blouses. I really have to buy office pants at least.. I am not looking forward to it, coz the 1 pair I bought 3wks ago, is no longer fitting well..

2) my skinny jeans is no longer skinny

3) my normal jeans, look like boyfriend pants on me now :D

4) being in a bikini is alright.. have some loose skin in my tummy area.. but its ok.. it just looks like im someone who needs to tone up.. stretch marks had made themselves visible on my hips and breasts though :'( I bought Bio Oil and try if it will work on them..

I dont know what's really going on or what is going to happen, and I have 2days (last month had 31days) more until my 8wk weigh in. So lets see..

All meals taken &vitamins on time, 1DC, crackers and fruits in between.

Day 59, DV free..

Day 46,47, 48: Cruising Along

These 3 days have been normal. Im feeling period pain/cramps but period hasnt come yet. :/ Was expecting it 2 days ago... hmmmm

I am craving big time! I so want to devour all the chocolates in my drawer! So cruising along, but not without difficulty!

Went for karting with colleagues on Day 46.. I was pretty good. Im just next in rank to the people who are experienced karters (top 6) Im on 7th and we are 17 people! :)

All meals intact, ate dinner at almost 11pm! :( Had a nectarine with it.

Day 47 is another normal day. Didnt do much work, well pretending to work was tough enough. I just wasnt in the mood. I guess its a formed habit of cramming?! Thats why I keep things for the last minute.

I am reading up on the Zone materials I have downloaded.

Didnt do yoga today, went to shop instead. I just wanted beige office shoes as mine were about to breakdown, and I ended up with two short-shorts (just for 10 AED! wawawaw!) for the summer & 1 denim jumpsuit (all a size smaller), beige office shoes, 1 pair of black loafers, and 1 green bikini.. oh yes, I can wear a bikini now :D ... Im not as firm or tight/cut as I want myself to be but yah, Im ok. Planning to hit the beach on Friday at 7-10am with work colleagues, with a mission to tan, so i need a 2pc suit. 

I spend so much these days.. I should stop :(

Was feeling too tired today, after my dinner, I dozed off in front of the tv and woke up at 4am!

Meals, vitamins, crackers, fruits taken on time. I did eat a big whole mango. I was planning to eat just a cheek but I couldnt stop myself. I felt so hungry.. I had 2 DCs today.

Day 48 ohh.. counted the hours til the weekend. Kept shifting between reading "Mastering the Zone" and working, whilst syncing my tablet.

A friend of mine saw my pics yesterday and she just signed up for the program :D I hope she gets accepted.

I had a cheesy breakfast today: shredded veggies (cabbage, mushrooms, onion, capsicum) stir fried with a dollop of Philadelphia fat free cheese... served with the remaining cheese allowance and cubed green apple on the side.. yummy..

Ate my crackers in between til lunch. I had my egg omelette with 2 crackers for lunch, chugged DC throughout the afternoon. Had dinner around 8pm with crackers and had 1 fruit around 10.

Went for power yoga after work. Almost ditched it coz I was feeling lazy. Im glad I didnt, it felt good to sweat! Later in the evening, I went for a movie with a fried and we ran late. So i went ahead to buy tickets and popcorn! My gawd! The smell of popcorn just within reach.. :/

Its just another day.

Day 46, 47, 48 - DV free!

Day 20: Detox??

Could I be detoxing so late in the program? Ive noticed for the past 2 days, that I am hungry, sleepy and somehow lightheaded in the afternoon.. Even just after an hour of my meal, I feel my stomach is hungry. I can get past through it but this has never happened before.. It could be when Im having a seafood day? I had seafood for today and yesterday. Could this be it?

I wore my skinny jeans today!! whooohooo.. still hurt a bit in the tummy an tight.. but yes wearable... I think its time to buy a skinnier pair of jeans to look forward to into wearing :D

Meals today:

BF: eggs+finely chopped mushroom, cabbage, tomato, onions+2crispbreads

S: coffee

L: BokChoy stir fried in onion, garlic and ginger +cubed tilapia fillets stir fried in finely chopped mushrooms, onion, and garlic

S: 1 crispbread

S: 2 crispbreads

D: BokChoy stir fried in onion, garlic and ginger +cubed tilapia fillets stir fried in finely chopped mushrooms, onion, and garlic +green apple

S: green apple



Program wise, we celebrated my birthday as planned, and I stuck to my meals and still deviation free today! I will have my beef meals tomorrow.. Maybe

The only thing that is not right, is that I havent worked out in more than a week! I am too busy! Not even a single session of yoga, and I miss it. I think I may go on Saturday or Sunday.

^_^