46th Day: 😑

Feel like shite today. Didnt bother to weigh myself in the morning. 

PMS symptoms on and rocking. Feeling tired, heavy and sleepy too. Hungry as well.

I also suspect that I'm not good with hummus.

It took some effort to be deviation free today, and lots of water and caffeine.

I want to sleeeeepppppzzzzzz....

Day 46: Deviation free.

44th Day: Eventful

What a tiring day!  I'm trying to sort my issues out and have hired a lawyer. I have a hearing again on the 26th and until then, everything will be as normal.

I've shed my weight gain as of this morning! Yay! Back to my weight prior to the incident last week. I hope the scale continues to go down.

Pretty tired but I'm thankful. I was also craving in the evening for nuts :/

Day 44: Deviation free

Day 7: Feeling low

Weighed myself first thing in the morning and weight is up by 200 gms?!? WTH?! This will affect my target week 1 loss. I don't think I will lose as much as I did (at the same period) like the last time..

I've been good for the past few days. The only thing that's not ideal is my sleep. I don't get uninterrupted sleep due to this stupid allergy. I sleep on time but I wake up early morning because I cant breathe through my nose, and sleep is elusive after that.

Otherwise, woke up today like the usual.  Prepared my meals and had my first warm lemon drink in the morning. I hope that will help me. As I drove to office I started feeling tired and heavy. I wasn't hungry, but my joints felt tired. Hmm.. I guess Im far from being in the Zone.


I read my old entries to keep my motivation up, and to check what I was doing on the same day# to get insights to how I was feeling on X day of the program.

I came across my entry about my results on the 4th week.

I like that entry, so detailed and informative. If I do have readers who are on the program now, I suggest to read that entry. This time though, I don't have access to that body composition report as Im not a member of the gym anymore.

Work was full on today and Im pretty ok, was not sluggish or foggy-brained. Im taking on the office mgr job for 5 weeks starting Sunday. So whatever detox symptoms that are still bound to come must come and go before Sunday!! :D

Went to the doc to get prescription for my asthma so decided to get my allergies checked and I got some medicines to take.. will check those out with my consultant before starting.

Other than that, all is good.

Day 7: Deviation free. 1.5 fruit less than allowance
Mood = meh
Hunger= not really hungry at any point during the day.

Feeling Alone

The day started good.. I was in an upbeat mood but by noon time, I felt the energy and the good vibes going. By 1pm I was feeling quite low.. really low..and I know why.. Its one of them single ladies thoughts..


"Thing to remember is if we're all alone,
then we're all together in that too"

I never had a problem with being single, I actually am comfortable being single.. Im not the type who needs constant companionship or assurance.. I can be with a group of couples and be fine with it.

When my friends read this post, they would be surprised that Im having such thoughts. Im so good at being single hehehe...

Its just that there are times when you miss being loved and cared for by a significant other. Someone to make you smile randomly in a day. Someone who shares your woes and fears.. That exclusivity feeling, that its just you and him.. Most of all, I miss actually loving someone and that someone is not one of my friends but someone special and dear to me only..

How come Im still single? I dont think Im ugly, I have a sense of humor, I am articulate, friendly, and I am no longer fat.. I am active.. going outside with friends, doing activities, and def not hibernating.. Then how come?I havent had a date for as long as I can remember?? Is it because Im old (33)? Is it because I am Asian and I wouldn take crap from anyone??

I never had problems with dates before.. I seriously feel that the sincerity of dating here has flown out the window..

Thing is, in this country, racism is very prevalent, especially with the Asian nationalities.. Im not generalizing but most people here see us as either after the passport of the "white" people or just for a "good" time esp with the Arabs. Well I really cannot blame them, there would have been a basis for that ey? But its not fair. So I myself am careful or biased towards Arab nationals.. and the "white" people I know, I find them too conceited (im not after your fucking passport!shove that passport up your ass!!) and the ones I see act like they're god's gift to women. And oh, by the way most of them feel like gods as this country favors them like anything.. such as being given a way bigger salary being as compared to their Asian counterparts..

I dont want to sound like this, but sometimes it is really too much. Like people here dont really see you as for who you are but just for a good lay or for the color of your skin or your hair. It is really depressing.

And whats more, in my 2 years of singlehood, no one had even bothered to get to know me better..

Maybe i just have a huge "fuck off" sign on my forehead. OR maybe im just not likeable...

Is it really so hard to find someone geniunely interested in me? OR someone decent? What happened to good old fashioned dating??

And as usual, the good ones are already taken.

Im done with this pity crap..

I'll be single if that's the way it is. I seriously refuse to be treated like an item.. like a commodity.. like someone without worth..

no.. thank you very much..

Day 59: Observations

lol :D

I've been hearing these a lot lately:


"Dont lose more, you are going to dissappear!" -- :D

"You look tired, you should eat" -- Im looking tired right? why should I eat? maybe you could say I should sleep or rest?

"The charm in your face had gone" -- more than twice! ufff!

"Dont lose so much weight, if you become super thin, its not a good look as well. Your face has become too thin.. or about to." -- I agree with this, but at the back of my mind I am not yet at goal weight..

I dont mind hearing them, its just that its difficult to explain why I am still on my diet. No one, who has not been on CD will understand the importance of reaching goal weight.

I have noticed these too:

1) I cannot walk as fast as I used to and as fast or upbeat when I used to climb the stairs. I feel like my bum is heavy and my legs wont move the way they used to as I walk up the stairs, and its just 2 flights! I can usually zoom through it. I have strong, muscled legs so I know Im good at stair climbing and speed walking (despite being overweight before)

2) feeling some lower back pain.. I thought this was due to yoga, but I havent been to yoga for a week and its still there. I went for a massage 2 days ago, hoping it will go away but its still there.. some lingering pain, not dying pain but this uncomfortable pain..

3) Sleep has become even shorter. I dont sleep early, somehow I cant manage to. But for the past 3 days, I've been waking up at between 530-630am! I dont know if its my cat, coz she meows to open the balcony door in the morning, but thats usually around 7-ish..

4) Hungrier. I mean, I get hungry quite quickly after meals. Also, in the morning, from the time I wake up and when I reach the office (before my 1st meal), I find myself saying, "I am sooo hungry" sometimes to myself, or out loud. I bought my chromium capsules to help with this.. I hope it works.. its been 3 days..

On the positive side:

1) NONE, as in NONE of my work clothes fit- trousers, dresses, blouses. I really have to buy office pants at least.. I am not looking forward to it, coz the 1 pair I bought 3wks ago, is no longer fitting well..

2) my skinny jeans is no longer skinny

3) my normal jeans, look like boyfriend pants on me now :D

4) being in a bikini is alright.. have some loose skin in my tummy area.. but its ok.. it just looks like im someone who needs to tone up.. stretch marks had made themselves visible on my hips and breasts though :'( I bought Bio Oil and try if it will work on them..

I dont know what's really going on or what is going to happen, and I have 2days (last month had 31days) more until my 8wk weigh in. So lets see..

All meals taken &vitamins on time, 1DC, crackers and fruits in between.

Day 59, DV free..