Day 25 & 26: Gloomy Days

I was still on my off today (25th day) and availed the luxury of doing nothing :D I was just at home, folded my clothes, cleaned up a tiny bit and just sat in front of the telly and ate my meals on time. The day started out sunny but then eventually dimmed to a drizzling afternoon.

Im still on plan today, although, the scale seems to have gotten stuck starting 23rd day->it moved up 200gms, 24th-> went down by 200gms, & 25th-> moved down 200gms, and 26th -> no change.. :/ How can I possibly meet my 10kg target by month end at this rate?!



one of my weaknesses :(

I went to watch a movie with friends in the evening. Dinner intact and taken on the 5th hr mark, I was intoxicated with the strong popcorn smell. I was seriously thinking of having a large tub for myself. As I was at the counter buying DC and water, I swear I could have bought one, but told myself  "NO" calmly and sensibly. I thought to myself, I can have some popcorn when Im done with refeed, and thats just around 45-60days away. And time flies fast. If I deviate now, it would feel like I am starting on square one. So--> NO!

Meals for today were egg omelette, fish bokchoy and chicken oregano stirfry. I didnt have fruits today.. just 2 DCs and my crispbreads.. Not so good..

--------------------------
Weighed this morning, and the scale didnt budge! :(

Its a full on thunderstorm and strong winds today.. A lazy day to go to work :D but Im fine.. Nothing much to report though.

Meals were egg omelette, chicken oregano stir fry, and beef steak with veggies..

I was having bad thoughts today, I've been thinking how good i was for the past 26 days that Im finding this quite difficult, not having the [junk] food that I wanted to eat. I am in a state of being self indulgent and being complacent. I hate this. I cant quit now! Just thinking of another 30days on limited and unflavorful portions (thanks to the no hot spices requirement for me) seems sooooo boring for me.  I may seem as strong, as I havent given in to any chance of deviating (even on my birthday) but it doesnt mean that I dont have my personal demons urging me to step outside this rigid line.

Its a constant struggle. Perhaps its due to the life long avoidance of delayed gratification. Arggghhhh! Then I keep thinking of the X number of times that I tried to lose weight, and I had not finished any single one of them. I lost weight but then did not maintain. Or I lost some weight and decided it was fine and just stopped being aware that it will actually come back if I didnt take care.

No. I cant stop now.

I wanted to go for Power Yoga afterwork, but I forgot my workout clothes.. so I just went straight home and slept early.. :)