34th Day: A Parade of Sugar..

We went to the movies earlier. I was prepared with my packed food (lunch, crackers, fruit and DC) just in case I get tempted with the popcorn. The thing is, we had some time to kill and my BF decided to eat Frozen Yogurt prior to the movie. I love fro-yo's... :( It wasn't so hard to say no to it, but it sure would have been nice to have one. 

We had about an hour to kill before the movie, so we walked around and 30mins before the movie we waited outside the cinema. I observed kids carrying their own chocolate packets, teens with their slushies, families carrying boxes of krispy kreme's and others with their own popcorn, nachos, and soda's. It was basically a parade of sugar and everyone is enjoying it and scarily, oblivious to the fact that what they are having doesn't do the body any good.

Was I envious? Tempted? I honestly do recall the taste of each food and I know I would like the taste too, but I wasn't tempted. I was fine not having it. Why is it that during the programme and being 100% on it makes it so much easier not to eat the foods that you know are bad for you? I didn't have anything outside the plan and I was ok, I didn't crave and I didn't feel deprived.

My sense of smell has become better too, I can actually smell the nachos for a change and still I wasn't tempted. I was thinking: "I would love to have those nachos..." but when I start thinking about the cheese, I stop because at the of my mind I'm not sure if that is even real cheese! 

The cinema was packed and the smell of food was wafting left, right and centre. I can smell everything. Did not matter. I was satiated.

On other news, it's been 3 days and the scale hasn't moved!! It is starting to get to me. I'm still stuck at 80.4kgs. What could have I done?

- meal spacing (timing): ü

- cracker to cracker timing: ü

- 2-3L water intake: ü

- sleep: like the usual

Could it be the switch in Omega 3 supplement??? :(

Day 34: Meals, crackers, fruit and vits taken on time. 1 DC. Deviation free

Day 43-44: Going through the motions

My 9 day off has started and I think Im doing pretty well in 'squandering' it :D

 

Day 43: Went to see a GP (just coz I cant get an appointment with the ENT) because my left ear still feels blocked from that clubbing night I went to 2 thursdays ago! GP said I should book an appointment with an ENT doc to get ears cleaned and properly checked bec from her point of view nothing really wrong. Got an appointment on Day 45 morning.

 

Nothing much today, just did that, watched tv, ate all meals on time. I just had mangoes today for fruits hmmm.. love them mangoes.

 

Day 43: deviation free, all allowances taken, vits too.
Mood = ok5
Hunger = none

 

Day 44: I scheduled a spa day for me and the bf as my treat for having a new job. I have a buy1 get1 voucher for this place so it didnt really coat me as much. We had access to the pool, gym and other spa facilities followed by a 90min massage. We started the day late, so we reached at noon and it was too hot to be on the pool. So plan b was we started the massage early and then movies afterwards.

My masaage was great! I tried not to sleep but i kept dozing off. I cant say the same for my bf, he said his therapist was average. He said at one point I was snoring!!! :D

 

But after the massage, I was so hungry. This is typical of me, i really am hungry after a massage. I ate my lunch but still hungry and craving! I almost gave in to the caramel popcorn.. i really did want to have it. But I just kept telling myself of the effort I've put into this and I didnt have any.

Braai night. I had a portion of bf's t-bone a bit over allowance. I was so hungry I didnt even check the time. I ate my dinner after 4 hours from my last meal! I thought it was 9pm. I already had food in my mouth when I checked the time! So I just kept eating. Deviation right there. I had 3 DCs today too.

 

Talk about getting by.

 

Day 44: deviation- less than 5hrs between meals. 1 fruit under allowance
Mood = relaxed. Good
Hunger = really hungry and craving

Day 22 -23: Successfully on the Bus

I survived post deviation! Its been a week now that Im on plan (just that my meal timings are off and not ideal) but I was able to successfully manage getting back on the bus (straight) after my deviation.

 

I've been asked if it was worth it. In no way deviations are ok nor worth it, but we also have to live for the moment(s), and its a judgment call I made, which I am still paying for with almost no losses (scale-wise) as of this day.

 

But that's the end goal right? Being able to exert control? Once the diet is done, we should all be able to control ourselves, give in to tiny pleasures but make sure not to spiral out of control.

 

To celebrate my mini-victory, I had a mango on Day 23. Had 1 cheek for breakfast and the rest for lunch. I have been putting arugula on my greens and it is bitter! But with the addition of sliced mangoes on it counteracted the bitterness.

 

Day 22- > visited a friend at the hospital and had a good chat. Her pregnancy is not going well, like really not well that it had to be naturally aborted. They weren't expecting it and it is causing her a lot of pain.

 

Afterwards, bf and I went to check a place where he/we can play squash and swim. We are thinking about it. Headed out to watch a late night movie, bf had a popcorn. Its ok.

 

Day 22: deviation free. Meals taken on time, vitamins too

Mood = good, coz I saw my friend, but I am pms-ing

Hunger = not really

 

Day 23 -> went to watch a movie with friends. bf had a popcorn, its alright. smelled really nice though. Afterwards we went to get my kitchen chairs re-upholstered (finally!!!), I cant wait.

 

My friend is still in the hospital.  Boo.

 

Nothing much today, just got hungry while watching chopped :D

 

Day 23: deviation free. Meals taken on time, vitamins too

Mood = was alright

Hunger = none.

Day 2: Easy Breezy

I know its too early to say but this day was easy for me. I did get a bit hungry in the afternoon but not that much that I couldnt control myself.

Woke up on time. Sat outside and finished my coffee. Had my breakfast at 9. Went to the movies at 12 with my packed lunch. Bf had a popcorn and I wasnt even tempted. Ate my packed lunch at home and found myself idle a few hours later and the thoughts of eating crept in.

I think, no, I know, that when Im bored, I think of eating and actually eat mostly junk. So today, i forced myself up and took my cat to the vet. Poor thing, had 2 injections and deworming today.. gave her a treat of her favorite wet food once we reached home.

My allergies today were to the roof! Oh, and yesterday evening, Ive got a splitting headache by the time I went to bed. I woke up to pee at around 3am and my head was throbbing!! Resisted the urge to take pain killers, I had a feeling that its a symptom of detox, just didnt expect it to happen right away. Luckily, it was gone in the morning.

As for my allergies, sneezed almost the whole day (its tiring!) And if I hadnt known any better I could be losing brain fluid! My nose just didnt stop leaking! :/

Saturday is always braai and rugby night at home but this time I excused myself and had my fish salad. Easy.

I dont know if its the new plan, or its the effect in  my head knowing that its the new plan and it should make it easier for me, or that TOM is almost done, but today felt so easy.

Lets see how it goes tomorrow. Work day.

Day 2: deviation free

Day 55, 56, 57: Weekend Roll

Nothing much to report with the diet, aside from the fact that I still am missing my TOM and that I am getting hungrier quite quickly after meals.

I bought chromium tablets so I hope that will work against the food cravings, hoping that my hunger is due to cravings and not real hunger.

I havent worked out at all this week!! I got a call from the gym to check why I havent been coming and they recommended to freeze my membership. I am thinking to do this from 15May-15June 2014

Day 55 was spent in the office and ended up watching Transcendence. Reached home around 12:30mn and was so hungry I ate another peach, technically the allowance is counted on Day 56..

Day 56, went to buy some groceries, measured my proteins and thats it. Was lazy in the morning. In the afternoon I went to my friend's house to spend time with her and her mom. In the evening we watched The Other Woman. It was hilarious! :D Had 2 fruits today, so I had 3 in total, counting the peach I ate at 12:30 early morning/midnight.

Im starting to be pretty annoyed that I cannot have popcorn and nachos!

Day 57, was volunteering day. It was a tiring 3 hours. After our shift, we ended up on our backs on the park's garden, enjoyed the breeze, and rested our backs. After an hour, we headed to the beach for some tanning. Spent a good 3.5hrs there.. got a good tan ofcourse. After this, I went for a massage. Reached home and cooked 2days worth of meals.

All meals taken on time, lots of DCs in between but within allowance, fruits, crackers and vitamins taken.

Day 55,56,57, DV free.

Day 25 & 26: Gloomy Days

I was still on my off today (25th day) and availed the luxury of doing nothing :D I was just at home, folded my clothes, cleaned up a tiny bit and just sat in front of the telly and ate my meals on time. The day started out sunny but then eventually dimmed to a drizzling afternoon.

Im still on plan today, although, the scale seems to have gotten stuck starting 23rd day->it moved up 200gms, 24th-> went down by 200gms, & 25th-> moved down 200gms, and 26th -> no change.. :/ How can I possibly meet my 10kg target by month end at this rate?!



one of my weaknesses :(

I went to watch a movie with friends in the evening. Dinner intact and taken on the 5th hr mark, I was intoxicated with the strong popcorn smell. I was seriously thinking of having a large tub for myself. As I was at the counter buying DC and water, I swear I could have bought one, but told myself  "NO" calmly and sensibly. I thought to myself, I can have some popcorn when Im done with refeed, and thats just around 45-60days away. And time flies fast. If I deviate now, it would feel like I am starting on square one. So--> NO!

Meals for today were egg omelette, fish bokchoy and chicken oregano stirfry. I didnt have fruits today.. just 2 DCs and my crispbreads.. Not so good..

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Weighed this morning, and the scale didnt budge! :(

Its a full on thunderstorm and strong winds today.. A lazy day to go to work :D but Im fine.. Nothing much to report though.

Meals were egg omelette, chicken oregano stir fry, and beef steak with veggies..

I was having bad thoughts today, I've been thinking how good i was for the past 26 days that Im finding this quite difficult, not having the [junk] food that I wanted to eat. I am in a state of being self indulgent and being complacent. I hate this. I cant quit now! Just thinking of another 30days on limited and unflavorful portions (thanks to the no hot spices requirement for me) seems sooooo boring for me.  I may seem as strong, as I havent given in to any chance of deviating (even on my birthday) but it doesnt mean that I dont have my personal demons urging me to step outside this rigid line.

Its a constant struggle. Perhaps its due to the life long avoidance of delayed gratification. Arggghhhh! Then I keep thinking of the X number of times that I tried to lose weight, and I had not finished any single one of them. I lost weight but then did not maintain. Or I lost some weight and decided it was fine and just stopped being aware that it will actually come back if I didnt take care.

No. I cant stop now.

I wanted to go for Power Yoga afterwork, but I forgot my workout clothes.. so I just went straight home and slept early.. :)