Day 38: Bothered

I still don't get it. Why is my weight fluctuating? Its just playing between the same weight for 4days? I feel that am dropping size though. Its just that this programme measures your success predominantly on weight loss and that's really bothersome.

I know Im not supposed to weigh everyday, but I need that boost to know that hey, Im doing something right. But from the looks of it, Im doing something wrong? Could be my scale has a problem? But I tried it in 3 different locations in the house, its fine. I don't know. I live in a "container", you know those portacabins, so maybe our flooring is not level?

It feels so odd, that I see the difference in size yet the weight is really not going south.

Bothered.

I can feel like this and still have to continue with it. There's no way to go about it. I have set a goal and at this rate, Im not going to make it on time. I'm aware my body will lose what it needs to lose at its own time. But it has to happen by end of November (refeed), otherwise I stand a huge risk of falling off due to the holidays, and again not finishing this. Scares the shiz out of me.

Well enough of that. Need to shift focus.

Long weekend is coming up! whoop whoop! and Im not going anywhere, not travelling, no staycations, just at home. I don't want to spend and I don't want to break my diet. I can travel next year. I miss travelling though :( really bad. 

Today was pretty stressful. Boss was just in a seriously foul mood today, I tried to steee clear of her. Felt that acidity in my tummy that you get when you are stressed. I refuse to accept its too much coffee.

Day 38: deviation free. 1 cracker under allowance

Mood = so-so. Did not sleep well yesterday

Hunger = none. Just looked forward to a mango for dinner.