86th Day: Do or Don't Do, There Is No Try.

Yes, straight from the master! When you are in this programme, try is not really an option because it is a call for self-sabotage!! 😐

See, I have tried and failed to be 100% on plan for years. Trying to beat the system, rationalizing my deviations (big or small), and false hopes of thinking that I can always rein it in. Years later, I'm still doing the same mistakes. 

Insanity right? But why do I this to myself? Lack of willpower? Procrastination? Not a fan of delayed gratification? Why? Knowing what I know and I continue to fail so many times.. The plan is not difficult, it is restrictive, but not difficult at all. The guess work is removed and all you have to do is to follow it. WHY is it so hard to stay OP? I have to dig deep :D uff..

Taking it one day at a time, I managed to end the day deviation free. Its not without difficulty though. I'm craving all sorts of things like cup noodles!! Hmmm..

Feeling really tired too. Hint of TOM showed today.. so its going to be a rough week..

Day 85: All meals taken on time, vitamins, fruits and crackers too. 1 DC. Deviation free.

85th Day: I Cant Wait!

Ok, so I've been little miss grumpy the past few days. Blame it on the PMS or the detox and the lack of sleep but I am determined to change this!

I sifted through Koh's Classics and came across a post that I have read  before but only resonated with me now - the Physical Changes apart from Weight Loss. Amazing read! Its was entertaining to read the positive (and even some of the negative) effects of taking on the diet. 

I started to look forward to the things as I continue to be on the plan  - deviation free. Aside from the previous pics that I keep looking back on, I imagine certain scenarios of me coming to office all thin and healthy with majority of the people and players seeing me after almost 7 mos. The compliments, and the well meaning "You're too thin!" comments. I couldn't care less (is this sentence grammatically correct?? :D I've heard it so many times, and I cant wrap my head if it is or not for some reason...)

I look forward to:

• Getting rid of my nasal spray dependency..
• Wall climbing. Imagine at my heaviest I was able to do this (the easy ones) what more with 29 kgs off me!
• Work on my flexibility again. Im guessing being rid of the inches will allow me to reach places more than now. Oh! and crossing my legs and locking in my foot behind my calf :) seriously cant wait..
• Seeing all the loose skin and missing "girls" because knowing myself I will feel bad about this DEFINITELY. I look forward to reminding myself to be kind to myself and rejoice in the fact that I did it finally. I got rid of the weight that I've been battling with for decades...
• Getting through all the clothes piled up in my closet. I couldn't let go of my thin clothes, which is a good thing. I don't need to spend more once I approach goal! yayyy!

After this, mood has improved tremendously. Well, I'm still irritable due to the lack of sleep and PMS but I felt the excitement come across me. I'm sure there's more but for now these are it. I cant wait!!! 😺

Day 85: Deviation free

84th Day: Well, Supposed To Be..

So I'm back and I lost 4 weeks due to an unavoidable circumstance.

I weighed yesterday, up by 4kgs. whoa.. NOT CHANGING MY TICKER!

I could have been back on plan 3 days ago but its so hard to stick to it. Just so easy to order every bad think I want on Uber Eats or Zomato..

Haven't been sleeping well too. My sleep patterns have changed, I could as well be living on the other side of the world. My nights have become my days and my days are spent sleeping. Now that I'm back at work, I am struggling!

I'm not going to reset my day count as I am extending my current plan by purchasing another 3 months of support (online clinic). Apparently I cannot get my refeed if I dont do this.

Day 84: Cranky, Craving, Sleepy with 9 days before TOM. But deviation free.