Week 7, 2021 - Emotions and Eating

Good morning!!!

Woke up today dreading the scales but all is good. After week 7, I lost an additional 3.2kgs!! **pats back** If I do not include the weight gained last week, I lost about 2.4kgs in the past week. **still pats myself on the back** hehehe

This diet really is a whole lot of things. Yesterday in particular, I was feeling very low, I have some issues Im trying to fix and Im just getting started on it. Basically, I know Im scared, scared to fail and that I will not able to carry through. Its a bit difficult to put myself on the positive side of the fence, my heart is just filled with dread and fear. As a result, I was thinking of food to eat, and not the good ones too (hint: cookies and caramel popcorn). 

I know my hunger was an emotional one. I know, I was aware, but the temptation too strong. It was a mental struggle - an argument between long term gains and what I think I deserve at the moment. :'(

Kept myself occupied until the last meal of the day and somewhat succeeded in staying on plan. I handled the situation in the easiest way i know how. However, I think, the best way to have handled that, is to face the fear head on, turn it around, bring myself to realize the positive side of what im doing and what I am capable of achieving. I have everything I need in me to succeed, why am I overcome with fear?

I dunno... one day at the time.

42nd Day: Choco Fear

Another week..

I informed my consultant about the 3 days I was off plan and asked if she has tips for me to recover my losses quicker (if there is such a thing). She just said to stick to the most filling meals and that the first 4 days will be hard..  😒

I can't help but feel that it is unfair! I was pushed in a situation that is really OUT OF MY CONTROL and now I'm suffering for it and will suffer for who knows how long.

I'm not updating my ticker and will only record my losses. 20 kgs to go.. goal weight seems so far away.

Good thing today is, a colleague noticed my weight loss.. thank God somebody noticed!!

I think I will break for several slabs of my
favorite chocolate brand - Läderach 💓💓💓

Reached home this evening and my bf was craving for chocolates. He took the liberty of being off his plan while I was away and I said "NO!". I was in fact afraid to let chocolates back inside the house. I seriously felt that once they are back, we're in for a downward spiral.

After reading as much as I could on the forum and on the wide web, I know that right now, I'm holding the floodgates really well, but if I slip.. I would be sorry for it..

I'm glad he listened. But my mind wandered off to my favorite chocolate brand Laederach. Gosh, I would love a piece of this.. This is the only chocolate that I didnt eat in 1 sitting. A small piece was enough to curb the craving. I bought around 40 CHF worth of chocos at that time. It was/is expensive, but it lasted me for 2 weeks, instead of 2 days!! 

Love... love.. love... :(

How do I get to the point that I can control my chocolate intake? That I dont end up eating a whole pack every single time? My mind just answered -- AWARENESS. I just need to be aware and sensible all the time. But, easier said than done huh?

Day 42: All meals, crackers, & vits taken on time. No fruits. 1 DC. Deviation free