It’s been two
weeks since I wrote and I think it has been almost a month that I’ve been
struggling to be deviation free. There were days that I was good but yet I
failed in the evenings and there were other days that I wasn’t on plan at all,
whether it’s not eating at all then having whatever is available to totally
eating out of plan.
Anyway, today
marks the first day of being deviation free. I thought of continuing the number
of days because this time I think I’m just going to go ahead with it, than “starting
over” on e-paper (mind tricks eh?).
I mostly occupy
my free time (morning and evening drives) listening to a book called the Values
Factor by John Demartini. Very insightful, a lot of aha moments, and a lot of
work in order to get your values and priorities sorted and aligned in all
aspects. I’m just listening to it, I haven’t done all exercises, because this
will need some time. It’s like a proper course! :D But given that I
haven’t done any of the work yet, I have learned so much already.
I don’t know
what else to say. I have wasted my time in terms of reaching goal, but not
really much so. I had a life going on – meeting with friends, going out with my
bf, networking. It’s not all bad. It is bad for Cohen goal but I have to see
the positives of it than beating myself up over it. I’m tired of that.
Today wasn’t particularly
easy, I was craving for chocolates like anything. I don’t understand it. I had
to google why and it all has to do with the rewards mechanism that we have in
our brains, as eating delicious chocolates that releases the happy hormone
dopamine. I also found out that we didn’t have to learn to like chocolates, as
soon as our brain recognizes the benefit, it acquires that automatically and
the brain gets hardwired to it. Phew.
Next, I googled
how to beat the chocolate cravings. Tons of advice – i.e. eat a healthy sweet
like fruits, talk a walk and then see if you still want one, negotiate with yourself,
have a few squares (hah! We all know how’s that going to go), switch to dark.
Thing is, I know all of these, but I still have chocolates in my mind. I’m not
craving for anything sweet, I am particularly looking for chocolates. I don’t know
what kept me going, but I survived today.
I started with
Pilates too. I had my first class yesterday (Reformer Core), I liked it. I was
booked for the same today but I missed it as I have to work late, and I took
the Pilates SQ, it’s a step higher than the basic one to which I did fairly
well, the instructor said so, that for a beginner, I was good. I like Pilates.
I 've always wanted to do it for as long as I can remember, the proper ones, but it
was just way too expensive for me (it still is). I have 5 trial class which the
cost works ok for me, that’s why I went for it.
Anyhoo, that’s all
for now and tomorrow I will brave a reconciliation with Wilma (my online
consultant).
Day 73:
deviation free. 1 cracker under allowance. Vits taken, no DC
Mood = ok
Hunger = craving
for chocolate, but not hungry for food.
Should you look at a more simple type of human which was forced to search for food, you can see this. In the event that something was caught, it was usually larger and had to be consumed all at one time prior to this rotten. In the event that absolutely nothing was captured compared to they just had to proceed without. That is very similar to the kind of fasting I'm talking about.
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