EDay 6-9: Pot of confusion

EDay 5-6: DV free
EDay 7: Went out with friends.. boom. fell off the wagon
EDay 8: Totally off the bus..

too numb to write right now..

that doesnt mean I am stopping. Im just gonna do a self check and re align my relevant W's (why, what, when, which, etc)

I was also approached to join a 60day fitness challenge. So I am rethinking my game plan.. The challenge is so tempting (the [grueling] physical aspect at the end ).. not to mention the grand prize.

question is: will I do it? bec it was proven that I was able to do these:

Eat Clean
Train Dirty

but separately.. there is no question if I CAN, but it is the WILL to do both TOGETHER

the trainer who approached me to join had seen me when I was at 102kgs, when I first started at the gym and he has seen my progress.. on how I toughed it out until I became a hard core gym junkie (which he did not approve of)

and he saw me lose all the weight with just the diet.

he is now asking, why not try combine both, NOW? am I really the "all or nothing" type? he said I should change that now real quick bec this is not feasible in the long run..

lots of thoughts in my head right now.. internalizations..

dooodeeeddooooo...