New Era

On this  post, I have unintentionally defined what I wanted to achieve- health and fitness wise:

I want a strong, tight and lean body. I dont want to be skinny nor skinny fat, and I do not want to be bulky (bulky with fat) either. I never wanted to. I want to be Lean, Lean, Lean!!!!. Have those toned muscles, a body fat % of 22, a BMI of 20, a healthy size 6 :))), ideal weight of 120lbs. I want to beat the shit out of people during bootcamps, circuits, and mud races. I want to skydive without worrying if I will breach the weight limit. I want sexy shoulders. I want to walk from my core, and feel my core work in every movement like clockwork. I want to do Les Milles Grit, without dying. I wanna kill it! I want my body to work freely.

Overwhelming, I know.  But everything starts with the first step.

My fitness is fine. Not its best, but its fine. I have reached a point that I know how important it is for me to regularly workout. However I was not really able to coordinate diet and fitness. Maybe its too complicated for me (still).It is difficult for me, I admit, that is why my body fat is not dropping.

Also, it is all too easy to compensate for a bad diet. I worked out so hard, hell, I can eat what I want, and I'll just work it out tomorrow. Easier than actually teaching your tummy to eat smaller portions, and getting your palette used to certain tastes other than fast food.

I know something is wrong. I dont see myself as an overeater. I eat normal to above normal portions, but not over eat. What I dont do is eat healthy. I dont have scheduled feedings and I drop on and off between healthy, normal and unhealthy eating. I have these 3 on the same day. I dont sleep well.

I am giving so much time on the fitness part that I am neglecting the nutrition part and sleeping part.

For now, in my feeble attempt, I am going to focus on these two for about 3 months. I will freeze my gym membership for 3 months maximum and focus on eating healthy and getting enough sleep. I know I can always attempt to juggle these 3, believe me I did, but I failed miserably. And I cant wait to succeed any more. I want this done and over with.

Writting that freezing my gym membership seriously scares me.

What will I do now with my free time? -- plan meals, cook, read, go for a walk
What if I still choose to be lazy at home and not cook? -- I gave myself enough motivation (next post)
What if I cant do this nutrition part at all? -- I gave myself enough motivation (next post)
What if I end up still watching tv late at night and not sleep at all? -- throw that TV away? its almost broken anyway :D
Will I have gym-withdrawal syndromes? End up unfreezing my gym membership and go back to my old ways? -- Its not so bad, but would you like to be on the same wheel like a hamster, running but going nowhere?
What if I stop working out, I stop burning and wont lose weight even with proper nutrition? -- really? you have heard this a thousand times, have read it across the net, your instructor had verbally warned you about overtraining and no results, nutrition is 80% of the battle.

(Im not even scared of not being able to go back to the gym, because I 100% know that I would.)

What about my lean body mass and my muscle mass???-- you are no expert and right now you dont know anyone who can advise you, so just go ahead and try, experiment with it. you wouldnt know until you try...

The reason for freezing the gym is two-fold:

     1) to give myself the TIME that I was using as an excuse
     2) to serve as a motivation to stick to cooking healthy until I form the habit -- I know it will make me super guilty not to use this time off the gym to do what I had intended to do, super guilty to the point that I will hate myself.

Dont get me wrong I will still workout, but to a maximum of maintaining 15K steps a day, which will require me to walk for an additional 5kms a day based on my sedentary work load. The 3 months is the maximum I will stay out of the gym, no longer than that. I will freeze it monthly and hopefully, by the 3rd month, the integration will start..

So what next?

REDUCE.. Reduce to gain

But first things first, force myself and learn to love cooking for myself.